Day 132: June 17th, 2013

I looked at the calendar again, and realized that we are half way through the month of June.  Time has not slowed down since he left, and I’m hoping that this will be a flash in the pan just like everything else is.  However, no matter how full my house is, I always feel really alone when my husband is not gone.  It’s a whole person who is out of my life.  No matter what I do, I cannot fill the void his absence creates.  In the past I tried shopping, gambling, or packing up and heading back to my hometown.  This deployment I have tried to do projects.  Filling my time with little and big things to do around the house.  Unfortunately, the fruits of my labors are just labors and at the end of the day he is still gone.  There is still the empty chair at the table, there is still the place on the bed next to me, and the laughter that comes from the inside jokes we share is gone.  It’s just empty here.

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