I consider today my Memorial Day weekend. While everyone was dreading going back to work and the school, I was living it up. Today I went to a movie. I always hear of friends who refuse to go out to eat alone or go to a movie alone. I enjoy doing it. It I don’t have to have uncomfortable conversations, I don’t have my daughter asking me about plot points or wanting to go to the bathroom at the most inconvenient times, and I don’t have my husband correcting the physics aspects of the movie—“hey, space ships can’t do that, that would be improbable.” All in all, it was quite an enjoyable experience, except for one minor detail–I’m dog shit tired.
One aspect of autism, the military, and life in general living with autism and having a child with autism is the word insomnia. I eventually grew out of my insomnia when I was around 3-years-old. My son has not grown out of his. The insomnia gets worse when my husband is gone. Since he left nearly 29 days ago, my son has either been up until 10:30-11:00 PM every night, or awake at 3:00-4:00 in the morning. I’m chronically operating on 3-5 hours of sleep every single night. Lack of sleep really affects all aspects of a person’s life. I have a difficult time communicating, I have a difficult time drawing up the energy to get anything done around the house, and I have a difficult time being able to put a positive spin on my entire circumstance. You really learn how valuable sleep is when you lose it.