It’s very hard to be a military spouse, and what makes life harder is misunderstanding by my civilian friends and family. I get really annoyed by a lot of what’s said. It’s hard when you are separated from your spouse not to take what people say to heart. Especially, when it comes to their opinions about the current state of the military, what they think of your relationship and marriage. Many people mistakenly believe that choosing to marry a military man is something that is purposeful, and deliberate. I met my husband in high school; I did not deliberately give my heart to someone, who goes off to fight wars in dangerous locations. I also get annoyed with civilians saying that I should some how get used to this, because I chose it. I counter with if you are an educator, you chose to teach children; you have no right to complain about your grievances with the state of the education system or how you are compensated for your work—you chose it. If you are married to a doctor, you should know that doctor’s work long hours, and you have no right to bitch about the long horrible hours of doctors.
The other thing that really has bugged me in the past is when my friends complain about short duration business trips that separate them from their significant others. Though, you are entitled to complain, and it is your right to have a bad day, it gets old hearing and seeing the same complaints for the duration of your husband’s extremely short business trips, while I’m pining away for half a year, or when another spouse I know is mourning the death of her husband. I know that I’m incredibly blessed that my husband is somewhere where I’m somewhat confident that he is safe, but someday that could change. I have empathy that you are having a rough time with separation, but please spare me the daily bitchfest.