The Autism Drinking Game

Rules:  You must be either a parent, teacher, grandparent, or person with autism in order to fully appreciate this game.

Take a sip of wine/beer if:

– You know someone with autism
– Take two sips if you have autism yourself
– Take three sips if you have autism AND have a kid with autism

Take a shot of hard alcohol if:

– If you have tried alternative means of treatment
– Take two shots if that alternative means of treatment involved auras or crystals
– If a family member, teacher, or administrator has told you that all you need to do is be patient and he’ll/she’ll grow out of it
– If you have a boy, and were told that it’s just him being a boy
– If you have a girl, and she has been diagnosed with several other psychological conditions BEFORE autism
– If you have somehow been blamed for the autism
– If you have a had family member, who was blamed for the autism, even though he/she doesn’t have a chance of ever had any effect whatsoever (well, your mom’s brother was a drug addict)
– If you have had to listen to the same damn song 20 times in one hour, because your child is stimming on it
– Two shots if you are listening to the same damn song 20 times in one hour because YOU are stimming on it
– Take shot if your child has ever damaged something while stimming or a tantrum
– Take two shots if your child has ever damaged YOU while having a tantrum
– Three shots if YOU damaged something in the midst of a tantrum
– Take a shot if someone told you that they could fix autism with a spanking
– Two shots if you have had an assault charge from beating the shit out of someone who has made asinine comments regarding autism
– Take a shot if you are dealing with an asshat principle/administrator at your school
– Two shots if you hired legal counsel

Drink A Bottle If:

– If anyone mentions immunizations and autism
– Two bottles if they roll their eyes at you if you say your child had a reaction to immunization
– Any mention of immolating Jenny McCarthy in any parenting decision– because we all know that parents of children with autism only source of information is Jenny McCarthy.
– If someone says they know autism, because they watch “Parenthood”
– If someone gives primarily to Autism Speaks, and proclaims to be Autism Aware (read their tax documents– nuff said)
– If you are offended by anything in this list, because you have not nearly had enough to drink to appreciate this type of humor.

 

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