A Deplorable Lack of Confidence

I have trained for, and ran 9 marathons. I have literally (and figuratively) been there, done that, and have around 8 t-shirts. I only have 8 t-shirts, because my first marathon t-shirt was ruined a few years ago. But for some reason, confidence eludes me during this training cycle.

There are several reasons for this. First of all, last year was (in a word) lackluster. In 2013, I ran a Goofy challenge, some months later I did an incredible feat of running the SE hilliest marathons (Atlanta Publix) with a 20 minute PR. Later in 2013 and early 2014, I could not repeat that feat. My husband was deployed over the summer. My daughter came down with strep and mono within months of each other. I was sick for a few weeks here and there at really critical times during my training. I ended up running 26.2 with Donna far slower than I have run in awhile.

I came out of the last marathon with deplorable lack of confidence. I gained several pounds over the winter and spring. The majority of my runs are on the treadmill until school restarts again. My training has been really interrupted throughout the summer. First for a disability conference and an extended TDY, then for commander’s course and a few trips to and from Orlando. Now, I’m level 14 of a 24-level course, and I’m running 14 miles tomorrow on the treadmill. Even though I know that I can run the distance with little to no issues, I still am scared about transferring from 100% of my runs on the treadmill to outdoor running later on in my training cycle. I just don’t feel confident about this next marathon. Perhaps, it’s because I’m running amongst 40,000 other runners in one of the biggest marathons in the world.

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