10 Reasons Military Spouses Are More Like Mutant Manatees From Hell Than Hippos


10.  Mutant Manatees from hell blend in with their environment.  So do military spouses.  We up and move at the drop of a hat, and blend in where ever we end up.

9.   Mutant Manatees from hell have tough, thick skins that are impervious to Sharks With Laser Beams.  So are military spouses.  We can take any situation and turn into unicorns and rainbows.

8.  Mutant Manatees from hell take really good care of their young, but sometimes when they misbehave, they eat them.  So do most military spouses.

7.  Mutant Manatees from hell have sharp teeth.  So do military spouses.

6.  Mutant Manatees from hell roam in large packs and eat a lot.  Ever go to a restaurant on a Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday evening around a military town?  Nuff said.

5.  Mutant Manatees from hell were the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but they live in the water.  I don’t know how to tie this to military spouses, but some of us are really mad skills with a bow staff.

4.  Mutant Manatees from hell reside in Florida.  The largest bases in the military are Florida, coincidence, I think not.

3.  Mutant Manatees from hell can be slow moving, but they also can be really, really fast when in stealth mode.  There are some fast military spouses and some slow military spouses.

2.  Mutant Manatees from hell mate for life, except for some of them are mean bitches and they cheat on their husbands.  So do military spouses.

1.  Mutant Manatees from hell are an imaginary creature I made up (and someone else photoshopped the picture, I just found it on the internetz).  So are military spouses who are called Dependas– and they are photoshopped too.

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