Today I discovered that a family member has been lying. It was not one of those little lies that sometimes pop out of peoples’ mouths, and they immediately regret saying them. It was not a harmless lie when your husband tells you you look great, but you really don’t. This is a huge lie, a lie that could potentially ruin lives. Sadly, it’s also the type of lie if I tell the truth, I could potentially ruin someone’s life. It’s the most dangerous type of lie, a lie that could possibly destroy a life.
You see I am cut off from a family member. The family member elected to cut off our family for two sad reasons. The first was she asked me for money in a time of need for her son, and I didn’t have the money to give to her. My husband was deployed, and we were paying quite a bit of money out of our own pocket for our son’s therapy and a special diet. I was not able to go back to work, and it was overall a tough situation. The worst part of it is I didn’t want to give her the money, even if I had it. She would tell me the real reason she needed the money, and the reason she gave made no sense to me. Further, she had gone to several other family members asking for money, and all the family members had turned her down as well. She was getting more and more frustrated. In her frustration, she posted a story online about her life. In the story, she blamed my husband for all of her problems. If he hadn’t been born, her life would be better. I unfriended her on Facebook, and blocked her. I know the sorted history, and this was not what happened. Doing this cut me off from two people I care deeply about, my niece and nephew.
Throughout the years, I googled her and her children just to see how they were doing. I would visit her page maybe one, or two times a month. She is living in squalor and very poor. When her washer and dryer broke, she opened a GoFundMe page, and I donated her some spare money anonymously. When she didn’t have gas to fill in her car, I sent her money, again anonymously. I didn’t tell my husband this, I did it because I hope the best for her. Then a few days ago, I read a blog post made by her, and I am floored.
She posted the “full story” about what happened during her troubled childhood. I won’t bother posting it here, because it is such a horrible thing that I won’t even give her the satisfaction that I know that this post exists. I realized that she had done some very specific things to “snow” people into feeling sorry for her. It has taken every ounce of my self control to not write to her, and threaten legal action if she doesn’t take down the post, or at least correct the falsehoods. It is truly that bad. She spoke of things that were done to her as a child, that never happened, but more over she was not the victim, she was the person committing the crime. Yes, what I am speaking of is a legal matter, and she was found guilty by a court of law. Her record is sealed forever. And people believe her story. She is called a brave person, a strong person, and a hero. She is not one of these things. She is a pathological liar.
How is she getting away with it? Well, for one thing she is incredibly intelligent. A few years after she established a Facebook account, she changed her name legally, because a few of the victims of the crimes she committed found her. She was not smart enough to keep her mouth shut, and she confided me about her new legal name. The second thing she did was she had a doctor diagnose her with a difficult to prove medical diagnosis. The hallmark of the diagnosis is the perception of lying. With the diagnosis, anyone who calls her a liar, she can knowingly dodge the accusation by claiming this medical condition. So if I were to take legal action against her for the lies she is spreading, I have no legal leg to stand on, as she is diagnosed with this condition, and as far as she is concerned the lies are the truth. She posts these diatribes on websites with like minded individuals, and if I were to go on there and call her out, the people who have read her truth could only attack me.
So why care? Well, many of the people reading her posts are victims of the crimes she has committed. She is participating in a predatory behavior. I’m afraid that she may start asking the posters for money, or worse yet, give out the names of her “victims” to re-victimize them again. She has no qualms about ruining lives, she had called, and gotten someone fired based on an exaggerated lie. My fear is that she has found a way to ruin her victims’ lives again. And it appears I have no recourse. So I sit here, and watch, and wait to see what happens next.