My Response

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I received this as a response to a post I made on a website a few months/weeks ago, this summer was kind of a blur, so I don’t really remember when I wrote what I wrote:

“I’ve been reading SpouseBuzz for years now, and it seems that many of your posts, jojo613, are on the snide/sarcastic side. Like this one, “reading comprehension issues”, really… You also come across as superior. Wow, cannot wait for your response to me:)”

That being said, the writer is waiting for a response from me, and I have decided to write one.  I wonder if it’s going to be the response he/she expects, or if he/she will be surprised, or if they will just write me off as sarcastic, snide, and superior.  So here are my responses:

I am sorry you feel that way.  With many other posters on this particular site, you have taken what I have said on such controversial issues as Dependas, Officer’s spouses, veterans, the commissary, and autism services, and have drawn a conclusion that I am sarcastic, snide, and superior.  I fill you in a few a things that you missed:

I was raised in a suburb of Minneapolis.  I spent the majority of my days in school from 2nd grade all the way until my senior year of high school on the defensive, because I was bullied.  At one point in time, in 8th grade I was on the school bus and four boys held me down, while another put his hands down my pants and another put his hands up my skirt.  The bus driver thought it was hilarious.  That was the last day I rode the bus to school.  The primary reason I was bullied is I have severe sensory processing disorder, along with ADD, and Aspergers.  On top of that, I also have dysgraphia (which is like dyslexia only with numbers and symbols).  Needless to say, I am beyond socially awkward.  I don’t have many “real” friends.  I usually end up saying something utterly inappropriate, or the way I say things completely turns people off.  Hence, probably the reason you posted what you posted.  And you probably drew that conclusion by reading what I write.  I mean you took the time to write a response that was meant to be degrading in the hopes to get a response that would be sarcastic, and exactly what you expect.  Here are a few things you don’t know about me:

  • My husband is probably my only best friend.  He and I have been married for over 18 years, we have been together since I was 15.  I’m almost 40, so that’s a really long time.
  • I call my mom every day, and more now, because my dad died in June.  I cry literally every day, because besides my husband, my dad was my champion.  He was so proud of me, even when I felt like an utter failure.  When I grew up bullied and with no friends, I spent the majority of my social time with my parents.
  • Despite being sarcastic and snide, I am actually a really good friend.  If someone actually sees past my social ineptness, and befriends me, I will do just about anything to maintain that friendship.  There are things I do for my friends that they don’t even realize.  I don’t advertise what I do, because I don’t want credit for it.  If anyone I consider my friend would ask me for something, I would move Heaven and Earth to do it.  I love Christmas, because I love giving things.
  • I actually will do things for my “enemies” too.  My sister-in-law, who hates me, opened a GoFundMe to buy a new dryer, I sent her $50.  It was all I could afford to do.  She doesn’t know I did it, because I did it anonymously (my husband didn’t know I did it either, and he would kill me if he found out– he doesn’t read blogs, so I’m safe).  My father-in-law who thinks I hate him (and I kind dislike him) would not get Christmas gifts if it weren’t for me.  All those cool books and DVDs he gets were actually picked out by yours truly.
  • I don’t believe in can’t.  I think anyone who says “I can’t do x, y, or z, because of insert stupid ass excuse here” is full of shit.  I was told that I couldn’t run a marathon, I ran 10.  I was told that I shouldn’t go to college (because of my dysgraphia), I graduated cum laude.  I was told that I should go to a community college and not bother applying to an Ivy League, I was accepted into both the Air Force Academy and Notre Dame (I elected not to go to USAFA, because my husband was a year ahead of me, and we would have had to break up, so I went to ROTC.  I didn’t have a scholarship to Notre Dame, and my parents couldn’t afford to help me).  If you tell me I can’t do something, I will do it anyway to prove you wrong.
  • I believe that sweating is good for the soul.  I may be sarcastic, snide, and superior, but I am not afraid of working my ass off.  If I don’t have things to make me sweat– like yard work to do, I will work out.  Above and beyond housework/manual labor, I work out around 2 hours a day.  I also spend about 4 hours a day writing, and no not on SpouseBuzz.
  • Honestly, I normally go on SpouseBuzz and comment on things when I am feeling low, because it is easier to be sarcastic, snide, and superior, when you are not feeling 100%.  My kids are sick– I’m on SpouseBuzz commenting about Ketchup-gate, Dad died– SpouseBuzz reading an article about how unhappy military spouses are, I had some snot nosed airman call me a Dependa at the track– SpouseBuzz trying to stop the lovely prejudicial behavior.  You get the trend.  I think that the majority of people who spend time reading commentary, commenting, or debating with strangers do so when they are not feeling good about themselves, and sometimes spreading negativity makes you feel better.  The sad fact is, and I know this better than most– it doesn’t make you feel better.  I know that you think calling me on my behavior (and ultimately writing an insulting comment like you did) made you feel better, but it didn’t really, did it?  It’s easy to be negative when you don’t really know someone.  If you found I was a friend of yours, would you call someone snide, superior to their face, and would you challenge them to respond to you in the same manner?  I doubt it.

So now that I wrote out this long response in an attempt to humanize myself, I realize that you probably don’t really care.  So…  Here’s actually my first and last response:  A random stranger on a spouse forum doesn’t like me, because she read the comments I made throughout the last few years, and this must be the sum of all that I am.  OK…  Boohoo.  Now it’s time to bake some cookies.  You like chocolate chips?

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