Day Two: The Worst Thanksgiving Dish I Have Ever Had…

I hate Green Bean Casserole.  I will indulge in the occasional bad-for-you good foods (like wine, chocolate, Swedish Fish, Willy Wonka Bottle Caps, and jellybeans), but my number one food pet peeve is taking something utterly nutritious and adding cream of mushroom soup to it…  It’s the middle of August, so what better time to post a delicious recipe you can save for Thanksgiving, because God knows nothing says Dog Days of Summer like Green Bean Casserole.  So here’s the recipe with my little twist to it:

Green Bean Casserole

1 can (10 1/2 ounces) Campbell’s® Condensed Cream of Mushroom Soup or (10 1/2 ounces) Campbell’s® Condensed 98% Fat Free Cream of Mushroom Soup or (10 1/2 ounces) Campbell’s® Healthy Request® Condensed Cream of Mushroom Soup–  Just what any good recipe needs.  Laden with salt, cream, and fat– it is a must have for any delicious summer, fall, winter, or whenever the mood strikes you– cream of mushroom soup.  

1/2 cup milk– To make it all the more creamier.

1 teaspoon soy sauce– To make it saltier.

1 dash black pepper– For flavor.

4 cups cooked cut green beans– The mushier the better.  Hey after your done choking it down, just put it in a food processor, and you can feed it to your baby!

1 1/3 cups French’s® French Fried Onions– Nothing goes together like fried and cream…

  1.  Stir the soup, milk, soy sauce, black pepper, beans and 2/3 cup onions in a 1 1/2-quart casserole– don’t forget to grease the casserole, because there should be a sheen of oil and fat on top of the green beans.
  2. Bake at 350°F. for 25 minutes or until the bean mixture is hot and bubbling.  Stir the bean mixture.  Sprinkle with the remaining onions.– You can do a design on top of the green bean casserole, just look on Pinterest, I’m sure someone figured out a way to decorate the remaining French Fried Onions into the shape of a turkey, the middle finger, or something to make it look appetizing.  Who am I kidding?  When has Green Bean Casserole every looked appetizing.
  3. Bake for 5 minutes or until the onions are golden brown.– Because French Fried onions need to look more brown and cooked.

Some of the lovely reviews of this recipe…

“A potluck pleaser!  I just added a tablespoon more soy sauce, and cooked it for about 45 minutes…”  So that everyone at her church potluck swelled from the salt intake…

“Add some swiss cheese…”  Because with the milk and cream soup, I really don’t need to poop anytime in the next three weeks.

“I make this every year for Thanksgiving, and make extra for the left overs…”  So you can have more of that shit sitting in the pit of your stomach while watching football and eating more Turkey.

“I make it every year for Thanksgiving, it’s my favorite thing next to the ham…”  Woah, wait a second, so you have a ham, a turkey, and this concrete concoction?  Do you go to cardiologist after eating salt, ham, and more salt.

“It’s a family favorate…”  So is spell checking.

Tomorrow’s post:  Your houseplant is dying, tell it why it must live…  This is nothing new in my house– I have a black thumb.

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