A Poem Within

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A Poem Within:

I am intelligent.
I am amazing.
Although, there are days when I barely manage.
And sometimes I feel downright stupid.
I know that on those days I just need to try.
Perception is not my reality!
I am an original.
I will never give up, never!
I am gorgeous.

I am invincible.
I am wonderful.
I know that sometimes the odds are incredible
Inward I lean;
I will learn.
I will live,
And the things that leave me insecure,
Will be vanquished and I will have victory
And I will endure!

I am imaginative
I am amazing
I have the will and the drive to move mountains,
To be an example of strength.
There are times I feel terror,
Those days I remember
Bad things will occur
I keep hope near
And then I keep going and going.

Because I am strong…

This poem was inspired in the car driving to chemo today.  It is a poem within.  It may be easy for most, hard for most, or you won’t get it.  That’s the beauty of poetry.  Sometimes the obvious answer is the one staring you in the face.  If you figured out the conundrum message me, but don’t give it away to others, because that would ruin the fun.  Share if you would like, but don’t copy, because that would be rude, and ruin my copyright…

Bald Is Brave

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When you have cancer there is not much in your control anymore.  It is especially frustrating when the treatments make you sicker than the disease. I had no symptoms before my diagnosis (in retrospect I had a few symptoms, but they were not anything that I couldn’t be explained by other conditions).  I have completely recovered from the surgery 6 weeks ago– with the annoying exception of the effects of my bladder/kidney stent.  I was by the doctor that under no uncertain terms that I would be losing my hair– the degree of hair loss is not certain.  I could maybe keep some of my hair, and have it thin, or I could be completely bald.

On the 12th, my first strands of hair came out.  There were a few strands on the pillow, and a few strands while I was washing my head.  I decided that my hair was something that I would control.  I wanted to take one thing in my life/health back.  My hair was the one thing I could control.  One Saturday night we had a little party in my bathroom.  My daughter did the honors.  I think she had a little bit too much fun shaving my head.  I think it was her little bit of revenge.  What daughter wouldn’t want to get back at their mother by shaving her head.

I thought I would cry through it, but I laughed.  I honestly had fun during the hair cut.  I felt free.  It was the first time in the last two months where I felt free and strong.  I posted the picture on my Facebook, and instead of getting comments confirming that I looked sick– like a cancer patient. I heard compliments like– “you look beautiful,” “you look fierce,” and “you look strong.”  I expected pitying looks when I went shopping, and there was none of that.  I feel so empowered, so strong, and I feel brave.  I am one step closer to getting my health back.