The Road Ahead

Hello Friends,

The last six months, have been a full six months.  Full of awesome highs (nearly no evidence of disease, and starting a maintenance drug), and full of valley lows (losing one of my closest new friends to this awful disease).  After Christmas, my blood counts were so low, that I thought I was going to die (literally).  I never have felt so close to death as I did between Christmas and New Years.  I even started to write letters to my children regarding how I wanted to be remembered by them.  I had consistent bloody noses that would take hours to stop up.  I eventually went into the hospital, and got some blood.  I was counting down the infusions until the end of Gemzar and Cisplatin– the beginning of February.

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Mountains Near Breckenridge

In February, my sister-in-law and nephews came out for a visit.  Colorado was not kind to them.  My youngest nephew started throwing up before the trip, and my eldest nephew, who has Type I Diabetes got food poisoning towards the end.  The poor child couldn’t get out of bed.  I was running a fever, had a cough, and felt generally shitty.  I knew since my counts were low, it would take forever to recover from my cold, which ended up being Influenza A (found that out after my son caught it).  After we both got over the flu, we ended up going to Snow Mountain Ranch (YMCA of the Rockies), and rented a nice secluded cabin in the woods.  I still was not up to skiing, and hung out mostly in the lodge.

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YMCA of the Rockies

In March we found ourselves back at Disney World and visiting my mom for Spring Break and Easter.  I did not bring my camera then, but I have a ton of beautiful iPhone pictures of Disney.  When we returned to Colorado it was time to trek up to Denver and see Dr. Corr at UCH Aurora campus.  We found out that my CA-125 had increased to over 600!  Since my symptoms coincided with a possible aneurysm, I was given an emergency CT Scan.  I did end up getting my Avastin infusion (maintenance drug), and the next day found out that my two spots had turned into 5 spots with the largest on my rectum.  On April 7th, I signed the paperwork to start a clinical trial.

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Crestwood Falls at Crestwood State Park

I made several trips to and from Denver to participate in the clinical trial.  I had a CT scan, a brain MRI, a biopsy, and more vials of blood drawn than one could imagine.  By the time I began the trial my CA-125 was over 900.  The clinical trial is a immunotherapy drug called Durvalumab and a vaccine therapy (immune system booster) called IPH2202.  The Durvalumab is supposed to highlight a protein to the immune system in the cancer, and IPH2202 is supposed increase my bodies immune reaction.  So far the side effects are very minimal, and I feel great.

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California Poppies Growing Wild

As of today, I have had two infusions.  I have no increase of cancer symptoms (the symptoms have remained stable– no increase is a very good sign, as I have not had chemotherapy in over 4 months!), I have good energy, and I feel wonderful.  In two days I will be embarking on a photography adventure road trip, and I will be documenting it photographically and on my blog!

We are traveling to the Grand Canyon.  I will be witnessing the a sunrise over the Grand Canyon.  After that, we will be traveling to Las Vegas.  Where I will be photographing the strip, going to the fountain show at the Bellagio, and the pirate show.  I, of course, will play a few games of chance ;).  From there I will be heading on Rt 66 to California.  I have never been on the West Coast.  We will be in Malibu, at Disneyland, visiting an old friend from our time at Vilseck/Rose Barracks, and then trying to see a few stars :D.  Then from LA, we will be driving north along the Pacific Coast Highway to San Francisco (some of the highway is closed, but I’ll see enough of it.  From San Fran, we will travel northward to the Redwood National Forest, where the Ewoks live :).  Finally, we travel back east going through Oregon, Nevada, and Utah to the Arches National Park, and back home.  My goal is to master the manual setting on my camera.

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Purple Wildflowers

Cancer has given me a new appreciation for life.  It is hard to know that one day I will die from this disease and follow the path of my sisters before me.  Life is fleeting…

Rest In Peace:

Jessica Gladstone
Jann Lenhart
Tracey Young
Sue Alvarez
Lori Hamilton
Sarah McGerrtrick
Eileen Albert
Betty Burnell
Leigh Reel English (Liver Cancer)

Song of the Post:  “I’ll Stand By You” Rachel Platten

July Camping

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In July we went camping.  It was our first Colorado camping trip and we had a great time.  We went to Eleven Mile State Park.  I don’t even know how to describe where it is, but it’s on the other side of Pike’s Peak.  The reservoir runs along a river fed by snow melt.  The lake has Northern Pike, Salmon, Trout, Bass, and Crawdaddies.

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Yes, that’s right Crawdaddies, Mudbugs, or crawfish, the little red delights that are often found in the French Quarter on Mardi Gras.  They were in season when we got there.  Some of the park rangers were having a weekend seafood boil.    We were surprised to say the least.  Unfortunately, our boat is broken, and Shane had to take it to the shop after we got home.

While the kids and Shane went fishing, I walked around camp, and took some pictures of camp. I found one of the Colorado Springs Rocks.  The staff from a beauty salon in town had hidden rocks throughout the park.  There were a lot of song birds too.  The top two pictures posed for me on the picnic table.  The other bird and rabbit were regular visitors to our campsite.

 

And flowers galore!  We took hikes on the third day through the pine and birch trails.  I have traded tropical flowers for wild flowers.  Succulents, red poisonous berries, and other fragrant flowers.

 

And of course a new toy.  I sucked it up and bought a super wide angel lens.  It took perfect pictures of the landscapes around our camp.  I could get full mountains without turning my camera all sorts of different directions.  I still haven’t figured out astrophotography.   But hopefully I will be able to take pics when I get out of the hospital.

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And we had our security system.  She LOVED sleeping outside, and getting in touch with her wild side (chasing ground squirrels and birds).  Thor didn’t pose for me.  He would walk up to me every time I put up my camera.  The only time I can get a good picture of him is if I am at the end of the yard, and he’s running towards me.

 

I’m Still Here…

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Hello friends, it’s been awhile.  A lot has happened, and I have been busy, but I have not forgotten you.  Where to begin…  I finished up Doxil chemotherapy in May.  I was stable, some of the tumors were even starting to shrink.  But the doctor wanted to save my last eight infusions for another time.  Desperate times call for desperate measures, and we are not quite at desperate measures.

In June, we moved.  We left Florida forever (I will visit, but I will never live there again).  I was regaining my health, and I found my new sanctuary in Colorado.  Florida was beautiful in a tropical way.  There were tropical smelling flowers, calming beaches, and thick forests.  Colorado is beautiful in a mountainous, rugged way.  There is wild life walking through our yard, song birds of every variety, and hummingbirds galore.

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We got settled and used to our new surroundings.  I sat out in the cool evenings and watched the sunsets.  In the mornings, I drank coffee and watched the sunrises.  Then things started to brew.  A few months into moving, I had my first bout of illness.  Easily explained– it was the coffee.  I was not used to drinking coffee, and coffee used to make me sick.  I had a biopsy, too.

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In July and August the storms started.  The illness struck again, but this time it was Kale.  I was trying to change my diet, and it had to be kale.  It was too rough on my digestive track.  The numbers on the scale were starting to creep up, despite me being a little more active.  I decided I was going to hike the Bar Trail next year (13 miles walk, 7000 foot elevation gain).  I had started to even run.  I was accepted into Camp Mak-A-Dream.

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Then in August, the poo hit the fan.  The first week, I was sick, then I had a week where I felt a little better, then the next week I was sick.  I had an appointment with my doctor on the 21st.  The evening of the 20th, I got really, really bad.  I had lost control of my bowels, I lost control of my bladder.  My hands and feet contorted, and I could not move them.  I had soaked a shirt in sweat.  I stripped naked, and sat on the toilet for nearly three hours.  I alternated between vomiting and having diarrhea.  I didn’t know if I should go to the ER, or wait.  Finally, the Zofran, Imodium, and Tylenol took affect, and I was able to put on a Depends, and go to sleep.

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The next day it was confirmed.  My cancer was no longer stable.  It was growing, and producing fluid in my abdomen.  I had gained 20+ pounds over the summer.  I went from a size 10 to a size 14 by the time I saw the doctor.  The fluid is called Ascites (pronounced- A-CEE-TEES).  I was going back on chemo stat.  The new regimen– Gemzar, Cisplatin, and Avastin.  Three days after my first infusion, I checked my weight.  I was down over 15 pounds!

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The side effects weren’t bad.  They were there.  I got my second infusion on Labor Day.  Yes, the nurses in Colorado work on Labor Day.  Nurses are my heroes.  A few days after my second infusion, I left for Montana!  I was a little bit nervous.  There’s forest fires in the area, but I had fun.  I tried a lot of new things– horseback riding (I hadn’t been in over 20 years), archery, photography (next time I’m bringing my “nice” camera), writing, painting, and I could go on and on.  The biggest thing for me is I made life-long friends that I would never imagine I could make.  You see I have difficulty making friends.  But the women I met there “got it.”  The complaints I had about family and friends, who didn’t “get it” were the same.  They understood that since my surgery I tend to fart loudly, that there are certain things I don’t enjoy anymore, and understood the time I wrote ten checks, because I could NOT remember how to write a check (chemo brain is no joke).

 

After four glorious days of forgetting I had cancer, enjoying the company of my new sisters, and just an amazing time.  I came home.  On Tuesday (the 12th), I started to have cold symptoms.  It was just a cough.  On Wednesday, the cough turned into a deeper cough, fever, and dizziness.  I drove myself to University of Colorado Memorial North Hospital late Wednesday.  I was admitted into the cancer-ICU ward (it’s combined).  Several blood tests, infusions, oxygen, and fevers as high 103.6 later, I was diagnosed with influenza a.  I posted on the group Facebook page, and we discovered over 20 women had similar symptoms, six of us with the full blown flu.  I’m the only one still in the hospital.  My platelets are recovering, my white blood cell count just went up.  My bone marrow is non-existent.  I’m on anti-viral medication, anti-biotics (even though I don’t have a bacterial infection, they are keeping me on it because I have no immune system), and some other medications.  I am hoping to go home on Tuesday, but who knows.  My chemo on Monday is cancelled.

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The silver lining, because there is always a bright side, I get to catch up on my blog.  I have edited some photographs, read a novel, done word puzzles, watched football, binge watched USA Networks Movies, and decided that I am going to play with plastic pumpkins and glitter, paint a few of my sunset pictures, do a mountain mosaic, and brainstorm on how to open an online gallery called “Teal Expressions”.  There isn’t much sleep to be had in the hospital though.  But anyway, you’ll be seeing more of me later.

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Teal Expressions is an idea I have been playing with for a long time.  I would like to have an online storefront gallery with women, who are battling (or have battled) ovarian cancer.  It would be an opportunity for artists to earn money, raise money, and express their art.  You can submit anything from visual art (prints, wall art, postcards, greeting cards), wearable art (jewelry, scarves, blankets, shirts), or media art (self published, poetry, self-published prose, produced music).  If anyone is interested in assisting me on creating Teal Expressions, please comment below.  I am in the planning stages right now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

More Responses…

Source: http://noguiltlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Frozen4.jpg

I know that I should just let it go, but I just can’t, so here’s my top ten less politically correct, and more humorous responses for the “OLDER” retired Navy Spouse, who felt the need to post a personal attack…

10.  Well, bless your heart, you think I’m sarcastic…

9.  You have read my posting for two years, and you are just now stating realize that I’m sarcastic, snide, and superior.  It took you two years?!  It normally takes people a few minutes.

8.  A person, who does not know me is posted a response to a forum post stating that I am “snide” and “sarcastic,” and in the next sentence she says that “I must think I’m superior…”  Lady, here’s pot and here’s kettle, why don’t you get to know each other while I have a cookie and glass of wine.

7.  So I’m snide?  Ma’am, the 1970s called, they want their insults back.

6.  Your waiting for my response.  Here’s a thought, why don’t you hold your breath, and get back to me in a few moments?

5.  I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were my mother, or tInternet police.

4.  Thanks for your input, I will give it precisely the attention it deserves.

3.  You have been reading my posts for two years?  I don’t know if I should be happy about having an Internet stalker, or creeped out for having an Internet stalker.

2.  I’m just here reading the comments.

1.  I’m so glad you know me so well by reading what I write on an Internet forum.  We should be best good friends!  Why don’t you come over, so we can braid hair, watch movies, and eat popcorn?